What Not to Crochet

Do you get the feeling this guy likes recording and watching himself on video? Put down the coffee before watching…snort bubbles may ensue.

Now granted this was 1967 but the expression on the model’s face is priceless so a little crochet pattern nostalgia was in order. She’s sure to scare the little kids off the bunny hill if she wore that crazy cap while skiing.

Thanks to Brianna, one of our readers, for sending this one in…we appreciated the look back in time however frightening it was!

I saw this gem while searching for a toy pattern on Lion Brand’s website.

i gasped as I saw this:

OMG.  it’s a hideous crochet hat!  Doesn’t it look crazy???  my first thought was….The Borg Queen

I guess the simliarities really lie in the facial expression.  But can’t you see some nut crocheting this hat so the Borg Queen can keep her slimy bald head warm? hahahaha

If you really want that hat pattern…here it is.

I’m unspeakably relieved that despite a significant amount of searching I couldnt find Christmas Crocheted Fug.

I looked. I found some really darling pieces that made me wish I had more time in my life but.. hey..

What I did find.. and it produced a number of mixed reactions when I saw it, was this:

 (get this.. it’s a bargain at 3,000 pounds!!)

It’s a Hat. It may LOOK like a sea anemone or the hyperbolic crochet reef.. but it’s a hat. For 3,000 pounds???

It looks vaguely biological.

And painful….

And if anyone feels that they could make this and give it to  their significant other/partner/sweetie/husband (darling or otherwise) and not have it surreptitiously fed to the dog/cat/budgie, please give it a go, and send the photos!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and are looking forward to a fugfree (in every way!)  New Year!

Does the video speak for itself? Thought so.

Thanks to one of our readers for sending this one in -
please don’t poke your eyes out while watching it.

P.S.:  A couple of comments already asking if this is real -
seems to be!  There are more videos of more hats where
this came from AND a custom hat will run you $1,000 US!

“A crocheted Bonsai bag is adorned with bobbles galore” -
quoted directly from the site. Bobbles galore…ya,
that’s exactly what this looks like.

Thanks to one of our readers for sending this one in!

This looks like torture not luxury -
for both the wearer and the crocheter.
Love the “what I’m wearing sucks”
smirk on the model’s face too.

Who exactly would wear this bright red thing on the front?
Doesn’t it look a bit like a doily of some kind? None of
the other designs are particularly appealing either.
This is the kind of stuff that gives crochet a bad name.

Just because you get to see all
sides of the fug (wait for it to rotate)
and because we haven’t chosen anything
off “Amazing Crochet” for awhile.

They never seem to let us down
everytime we visit for a submission.

This one just makes me giggle – not sure if
it’s the model’s expression or the hat -
they both take the proverbial cake.

No matter how you dress the model, the oversized
granny square won’t be “funky” or “urban chic“.

Can you believe those are fingerless
gloves? Yikes. It looks like some
sort of caterpillar hopped up on
steroids swallowing her hands.

Yes, yes the scarf is pretty
bad too but I’m not sure what’s
worse in this circumstance.

A pink bow? Seriously? And all that fur
with a scraggly design too? Ugh.

A neckwarmer or an earwarmer?
Trying to sell it two different ways
doesn’t make it better. Yikes.

Um ya, because most crocheters like horns sticking
out of their hats. I particularly like the expression
on the girl with the green hat on – that says it all!

Granted, this pattern comes from
the Anticraft! website but please.

Thanks to everyone who sent this one in!