What Not to Crochet

I found these in a shop which are odd…

Then in the same shop I found this…

And that pretty much explains the crochet top no?

Oh yes, using the word “shabby” with “chic” definitely makes it better, yes? Ah, you guys be the judge…feast your eyes! Not responsible for spelling errors – the listing came that way!

Shabby chic creative jacket/cardigan with granny squares patchwork green crazy jacket. This is a dark green cotton blend jacket. By the inspiration of my creative spirit it was embalished with a bunch of granny squares and converted into a piece of wearable art, absolutely unique and not possible to copy.

In this bikini…not sure why you’d even wear it? The butterfly is a bit pointless too – is that to distract from everything being exposed? LOL

…she never signed that contract with Red Heart. Perhaps she was drunk when she did? That ought to explain it.

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Not much to say as the pictures are saying it all…

Please make it stop. Eeks.

But wait, before she goes to fight crime she better change what looks like a full diaper!

…or your boobs might fall out! Sure, it might be cute over a bathing suit but with jeans? Oh my.

Thanks to one of our readers for linking us!

Your dreams have come true…I found your technicolor coat for $500!

…to feel like a clown…this beauty is yours for $649! Free shipping of course…bonus, right?

This inspired one of a kind, free form crochet garment will have you feeling like the Queen that you are! Turquoise + peacock blues, light lime, olive and rich army greens, white and creams with a hint of pink and maroon waves and paisley. Funky yet, regal. It will pair nicely with most anything! This piece is elegant, but can be worn casually too… that part is up to YOU!

…the rose or the wave. Your pick! None of them better than the next but hey, catchy names, right? I especially like the description for the rose…not sure about you but this definitely makes me want to wear a tube!

You’ll look as lovely as a rose when you wear this lovely tube sensation. Pink with white tie, broch and silk flower. Onesize. Very comfortable.

Trippy pullover…the perfect name!

The bright colors add a shocking splash of wow to any ordinary outfit.

Seriously? ZOMG! Re-making it in colors that are just as gaudy as the first rendition doesn’t make it better.

…meant for the floor not to wear as a sleeveless jacket  All yours for $895 & free shipping.

Crochet lingerie in cheap acrylic yarn that will floss your butt while your lover laughs hysterically. I wasn’t sure what I found more disturbing…the crochet or the prop used to display the item. At least it wasn’t a real person wearing it or we’d definitely need the eye bleach.

This is a beautiful, sexy, one of a kind piece that is perfect for any intimate occasion.