Just in time for Halloween! This is scary on so many levels but since it’s Halloween, I guess it’s appropriate. Otherwise, well, YIKES…you get the picture…what would possess you to make this?? LOL
This is our first submission by a reader…keep them coming…we need all the help we can get!
Link Submitted by: Leisel of Knot Again – many thanks!
I thought I would delve a little into what’s called Freeform Crochet…which is basically just crocheting whatever the h*ll you want without a pattern and calling it art. Okay, I understand some of you may think this is indeed artistic but how can such a thing be functional and who the h*ll would wear it? On the runways maybe? Anywhere else? I doubt it! And if you don’t get what I’m saying, I’ve included a front, back and side view of this monstrosity…do you get it now? Good! Please…octopi don’t belong on our heads!! You’re even doing a disservice to the octopus…how embarassing for them to be confused for a hat!! How does anyone even confuse that idea? Oh, I know…
Octopus…hmmmm, ya, let’s put it on my head…now how do I achieve that? Oh, I know, I’ll call it freeform crochet so people think it’s art…because you know, if I call it art, heck, they’ll never be the wiser!!
Can you believe this thing sells for $599 US???
I know some of you may disagree but why do afghan stitches have to appear on clothing?? I look at this picture and think, cool, she’s slung an afghan around her shoulders…oh oops, no, I’m wrong…it’s actually a blazer! And let’s not even mention the colours…ugh! With so many different stitches out there and coloured yarns, why make your blazer look like an afghan?
An afghan is an afghan and a blazer is a blazer…please don’t mix them up…no matter what age you are, this is a universally applied principle!
Especially a poncho!! Fun fur has been recalled already…it’s a fire hazard…why would you want to wear it on your body?? Making it many different bright and gaudy colours doesn’t help matters either…it still isn’t fashion! Check out the model too…can you hear what she’s saying? How about:
I am going to work this poncho with all I got…just look at my strut…can’t you tell I loveeeeeeeeee this fun fur poncho? No? Okay, how about my big toothy grin? Now do you see how wonderful this fun fur is?? I mean, like, it’s in so many different colours too…can’t you just love my multi-coloured gaudy poncho? No?? Okay, I give up…I’m going to walk right off the set now and don’t anyone follow me…I’m humiliated enough!
Seriously people, fun fur was banned…GET THE HINT!!!
Avert your eyes everyone!
The mancho seems to be out there far and wide! This model’s strategy seems to be to smile BIG and WIDE and put his hand on his hip to try to distract us from the fact that he’s wearing a carpet…and make us believe he’s
hot and sexy…
Nice try anyways…no matter how cute you are, we can still see what you’re wearing!
Do I have to say it?? Granny squares belong on afghans…not on clothing…not even vests!! Seriously though, please keep granny squares on items used to fling over the couch or on the end of a bed…please don’t put them on your body! Look at the model…I can just hear what she’s thinking…
How do I make this look cute…oh, I know, if I tilt my head a little to the side and smile,
nobody, I mean hardly anyone, oh sh*t, everyone will notice the awful vest I’m trying to show…
Anything even remotely resembling a blanket worn by a man as a “fashion” has to be banned…just what exactly is a mancho anyways? A derivative of the poncho? Okay, please people, this is not a good style for any man…do you want your man to feel even less masculine? Cool, I know I do…so great, let’s make him a mancho! And matching manchos/ponchos, whatever, please, don’t even get me started..and the fact that his is “green” and her’s is “purple”…does that make it manlier? I’ll let you decide. The fact that he’s hiding behind the woman should give you an indication of its appeal…poor guy…hope they paid him well to model this!
In an attempt to capture some of those truly hideous crochet creations out there, this blog was created in response to some of the other blogs out there poking fun at other topics such as knitting and celebrities. Why not crochet too? There are a lot of designs out there that are really just truly hideous and you have to ask yourself…just what were these designers thinking????