Bacon & eggs bikini…huh?

Put down the coffee before you open up these photos – I’ve warned you! Not sure where to wear it? Here’s an idea from the designer…hopefully your special someone won’t laugh hysterically when they see you.

Inspired by awesome breakfast food, wake your special someone up with a suprise sexy breakfast in this sizzling hot g string bikini…

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Is that a squid on your head?

I went searching for man crochet…just to see what would come up and this is definitely not what I was expecting to find. This must be the squid mate to our gravatar image

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And for $119.50, here’s what you get:

The design of this critter came from blending characteristics from both an octopus and giant squid. It has 8 curly tentacles, with the 2 in the front ending in domed clubs. Lining the tentacles are small crocheted suckers, each of which are carefully sewn on individually.The hood is specially shaped to have that peaked top like a squid with crocheted eyes sewn on the sides. Crocheted from a soft and sturdy worsted acrylic yarn, so even though you’re wearing an animal, you’re not wearing a real animal! A happy bonus to all the vegans out there!

Putting the butt in boy shorts…

OMG! No. Just simply no. Words fail me on this one. The description says:

These specific shorts are ready to be shipped. Custom orders take about 3 days.

Is it just me or is she naked under these shorts? She’s seriously going to ship you THESE shorts this “model” is wearing? The one photo of the “model” rolling her eyes into the back of her head…not touching that one other than to say why is she laying in a bed?

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Excuse me while I go and find the eye bleach and disinfectant.

Narcissism at its finest…

When you are browsing through Etsy do you ever wonder if the item you’re being sent has been worn by the designer? Case in point…all these items are being worn and not every single one of them said “we custom make the item for you”. Can I get a collective “gross!” please?

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And the more I look through sites like Etsy the more I’m left with the distinct impression that a lot of the designers are not really intending to sell the items but more like they just want to take semi-provocative photos of themselves and throw them up on the web because, really, who’s going to buy these items and especially for the prices they’re asking?

The Little Black Dress

A crocheted version that is. It’s really not so bad for the right body type and the right occasion but the price? The price is what caught our eye – $2,250. Now granted, it probably took awhile to crochet this but I still have to wonder – if you can’t take professional photos nor take this outside somewhere to take pretty photos of it, who’s going to even consider plopping $2,250 into your Paypal account? Calling yourself a professional fashion designer doesn’t help either – professional implies you’d take professional photos…ZOMG! On the bright side, it’s custom made to your size and it ships for free…LOL

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For accepting a Grammy…

Handmade in the 70s and worn once (not cleaned either!) and should be worn to accept a Grammy.  Well, according to the designer that is. And by the way, it’s all sequins (all crocheted into the mesh) and she warns that if you sit in it, you might damage the embellishments soooooo if you’re going to the Grammy awards, forget about sitting down! Can be worn by a thin man too says the designer.

And for $888.88 you’d think the designer would at bare minimum take a clear photo without a bunch of wires on the floor and a distracting background. But who am I to say, right? It is handmade after all.

Abstract & Anatomical

Two rather big words to live up to but if you think you do, hey, you can put a price tag of $3,000 on your creations! Sure, I know, these don’t look crocheted but the artist says the foundation of them are crocheted so that’s enough for this blog.

And this last picture? I had to add it only because the artist doesn’t say it but come on, don’t they look a little penile in shape? And these ones are “only” $2,400! Definitely a steal to display on your bookshelf so they can collect dust.

Thanks to one of our eagle-eyed readers for submitting this one! We love it when you help us out with links like these. 

$2,500

It’s a one-of-a-kind so of course the designer has every right to charge $2,500! Mind you, it doesn’t matter how fugly it is when it’s handmade – that’s the golden rule! Handmade = give a lame description trying to get someone to pay insane prices.

HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS? A DRESS TRULY FOR A STAND OUT TYPE OF GIRL! CROCHETED BY HAND AND COMPLETELY LINED WITH 4WAY STRETCH! SMOOTHS OUT YOUR CURVES IN A DELICIOUS WAY! COATED WITH GLITTER SO YOU SHIMMER WHEN YOU WALK! THIS CREATION WILL TRULY BRING OUT YUOR INNER GODDESS! 64 INCHES TOTAL LENGTH. FITS SZ 6 TO 10. MACHINE WASHABLE!

Machine washable? You know what that means! You just paid $2,500 for acrylic.