Patriotic Tops

Oh gosh, no no no no no no no no…this is so wrong. First it's in fugly acrylic then the stars are all distorted and look like starfish. Then there's the colour choices…oh my!

Cruel and unusual punishment for this teenager… A one shoulder design too…no no no…it's just not right. So wrong in so many ways.

Quick and easy? How about quick and tacky?


  1. severina says:

    “Mom! Crochet me something that makes me look fat! And make it in acrylic so when I sweat and swing my arms my armpits squeak!”

    Mom pours herself another vodka.

  2. CombatGal says:

    The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, ….I copied that out of the U.S. Federal Flag Code. Someone had unbelieveable foredsight!!! If she lays on the floor, will she have to burn that monstrosity? Let’s hope! LOL.

  3. Orange Swan says:

    I suppose if you really wanted something to wear to a Republican convention, this would be perfect.

  4. meshaliu says:

    Maybe it’s just my monitor, but I could’ve *sworn* that the stripes on the flag are red, not pink.

  5. anne says:

    It’s the first time I’ve ever commented here, although I check the site frequently for a laugh or a shudder, but I just have to say this design makes me downright proud to be a…


  6. Lorraine says:

    You know she’s thinking…

    Just wait, mom. I’ll get you back. This insipid thing you made will be the reason I go postal. And when I’m caught and I go to trial, I’ll get on the stand and show the pictures, mom. Then you’ll be on trial for cruel and unusual punishment.

  7. Slytheringrrl says:

    Maybe it’s my monitor, but those “red” stripes do have a fuschia tinge.

    It might be tolerably comfortable to wear in cotton, but the flag pattern is fugly and vaguely disrespectful in my view. Why not drop the canon and just make it striped? But not red and white…that would say either “barber pole” or “candy cane”

  8. Shelley says:

    The designer should have been forced to wear that hideous thing. Didn’t the no shoulder thing go out in the 80″s?? Please don’t tell me it’s coming back. UUgghhh!

  9. Kat-Z says:

    Let’s see, it compresses her bosom..handy if you need
    a tourniquet, and I shudder to think of someone a little more
    um…patriotic and mature, (IOW someone who *would* wear it) with the inevitable maraca syndrome going on under the arms…you’ll never notice the washed out red yarn, trust me.

  10. ennovy88 says:

    I just returned from borders on my lunch break browsing for a crochet book… and saw the Quick & Easy Cropchet book .. and what I thought I said under my breath ended up being heard (it was ohh no they didn’t).

  11. christina says:

    What if you crocheted only one star and called it a Puerto Rican day shirt? I know lots of Puerto Ricans in New York who would wear this proudly. Apparently, it’s OK to use that flag for whatever purpose you need, including strapping it down to the hood of your vehicle. It’s on June 9th, so get hooking!

  12. MeanDean says:

    I guess for some people, that stupid Jennifer Beals/Flashdance look will never die…

    (PS: Severina’s comment resulted in me having to clean off my keyboard and monitor.)

  13. K1fit says:

    I hear off the shoulder will be in next spring. It is okay to wear flag-like looking material, but not an actual flag. There is a difference. I don’t think this looks too hideous, but it depends on who is planning on wearing it, since those think stripes are awful close to falling in the horizontal category.

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