Cornucopia

Some post-Thanksgiving fug for anyone living in
the USA. I really do appreciate the sentiment
on this one but something about it is wrong,
so very wrong. Can you pinpoint it?

Thanks Maryann for this submission.

38 comments

  1. Smush says:

    The idea that anyone in thier right mind would want “plenty” of oddly shaped crocheted vegetables in thier house?

    Or the fact that it’s fug! Yeah that’s it!

  2. Liz says:

    They would be better made in single crochet, but I wouldn’t even bother making any of these veggies. If every dollar and bargain store closes up suddenly, and 50’s era were back in style, I still wouldn’t make them.

  3. Matthew Provencher says:

    I love this. I have a different version on my kitchen table now. I love to decorate for all holidays. What is wrong with this? I mean, I have hundreds, possibly thousands of pictures of things not to knit or crochet posted on my MSN Group, and the discussion is much older than this site. Please try again, as this in no way qualifies as fugly.

  4. Maryann says:

    Woohoo! I’m glad you all hate it as much as I did. I saw this and instantly said to myself, “Self, this is one for WNTC.”

    Glad to see WNTC and you all agreed. This just makes me sick. America should rise up, as one, against this horrible fug.

  5. Maryann says:

    PS: Hey, Matt! Your taste is all in your mouth! Don’t you have anything better to do than crochet lumpy yarn vegetables and stuff them in a floppy brown horn?

    If this is to your taste, this blog ain’t for you, man. This blog is for those who haven’t gone BLIND.

  6. CombatGal says:

    You notice, there’s always one person who just doesn’t get it?? I’d like to do a study that would help me fill in the blank, “every xxth visitor to WNTC misses the point entirely”. Any statistics majors out there?

  7. MoonShine says:

    I thought a cornucopia was a curved horn filled with grains, fruits and veggies. What happened to the curve? This looks like a brown witch’s hat… yeah, that’s it! And the witch melted into some sort of crocheted veggie spew! I mean stew! I think…

  8. Pansy says:

    I know, I know! It’s a cornucopia, but there’s no corn!

    I don’t know which biblical passage has been selected, but I’m sure it must be, “Thou shalt crochet with cornucopious amounts of cheap acrylic and Spanish moss.”

  9. TheFallingLeaf says:

    It’s fantastic! Yet another way to waste yarn to make one more thing to take up space and collect dust while scaring away all my visitors! I’ll have to make one for next year! If nothing else my cats will find it entertaining….

  10. Maryann says:

    Good question, CombatGal. When I submitted it, I could not have imagined that anyone would like *this* one. Of course I’ve been amazed before, but this is one of the worst fugs I’ve ever seen. I mean, it’s not merely ugly; it is, as TheFallingLeaf correctly pointed out, utterly useless. It’s a total crap-fest.

    And yet at least three people in this world liked it (the writer, the publisher, and Matt.)

    All I can say about people who don’t get this blog is that, in general, it’s simply a case of the exact people WNTC is trying to police finding it and rebeling against our superior taste and wisdom.

  11. Kaytee says:

    “And yet at least three people in this world liked it (the writer, the publisher, and Matt.)”

    Actually, we don’t know about the first two. They may just have a low opinion about the taste of their customers. And just to make sure, they put a Bible in the picture with the sample– then nobody would dare object lest they be accused of being un-American heretics, atheists or sumthin’….

  12. Melanie says:

    Err, that’s hideous. If it was a lot smaller, more stylised, yeah, I could sort of see the value of it… like as a doorbell decoration at an old people’s home, something like that. But, uhm… still, it was cheap amusement for moi while I wait for my useless dialup to find my site (it’s amazing what it can’t find sometimes) so I can actually blog this. Yeah. :)

  13. Linda says:

    I saw this on Annies free patterns-if you can’t sell it! Give it away. I have so many things, I actually like, listed for the making. that I think I’ll leave this freebie for someone else to make. It was one of those one time only patterns that I didn’t bother with. Though the thought of how easy it would be to make a crocheted Penis from the pattern did cross my mind. What could be more useless than that? No I don’t plan on making one!

  14. catzilla says:

    As for the “Where’s Waldo” type question, in a sea of
    eye spinning horror…

    Is that a brown hand grenade?

    If nothing else, it should put to rest any wacky ideas of
    having a “home made Christmas” exchange when you
    proudly trot this beauty out at Thanksgiving, and award it to
    your most beloved in-law as a momento.

  15. ketutar says:

    I have all understanding in making cornucopias as autumn harvest feast decoration, and crocheting vegetables etc.
    But THIS ONE IS U-G-L-Y!

    I’d like to know the url for Matt’s MSN group though… if he thinks this is nice, I’d like to see the “hundreds, possibly thousands of pictures of things not to knit or crochet”… Too bad he didn’t give the url… :-(

  16. threesmom78 says:

    it’s so hideous, i can’t take my eyes off it for too long… i’m afraid it will come after me as i sleep. the original yarn turd.

    • Tamara says:

      Why would someone go to a site called “what not to crochet” looking for “cool patterns” to crochet? That just doesn’t make sense to me. Do you go to Poisons-R-Us.com in search of a good cookie recipe? I’m just asking.

      It truly amazes me how many people come to this site having clearly missed the point. We’re not here to congratulate good designers, they’ll get their congratulations elsewhere. We’re here to snicker at the designers who made judgement errors, and then posted/published them for all to see (and snicker at).

      and you won’t get attacked here just for saying you disagree and like something, you may get some feedback if you are snotty and make it personal (just remember, you started it).

  17. chickadee says:

    People, I know why you would make something similar–this one’s ugly–these are wonderful toys for little children while you’re trying to stuff a turkey and bake pies and prepare for out of town guests!

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