Meant to “disguise” your most personal feminine hygiene product -
you decide if it works or not. The pink one is a uterus cozy with ovaries on it!
Thank you to one of our readers for this submission!
What Not to Crochet
because there's always one more crochet design that shouldn't be made!
January 12, 2008 at 7:12 pm
This makes me uncomfortable. Yes, I’m a woman but Christ! Just throw it in your purse like a normal person.
June 16, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Seriously. Get over it…no one cares about your tampons but you…
and that uterus one is just scary.
July 9, 2010 at 10:47 pm
doesn’t look like a ‘disguise” to me,i use an eyeglasses case,of course one i don’t keep my glasses in!!!!
January 13, 2008 at 12:24 am
I’m not sure whether to laugh hysterically or gasp indignitly…ah, hell, I’ll do both!
Bwahahahahaha!
Oh!
My!
God!
January 13, 2008 at 2:36 am
I still shake my head every time I look at this and wonder WTF was she thinking!!
January 13, 2008 at 4:08 am
I’m coming out of the woodwork for this one. Holy Moly!
I so enjoy your blog. Thank you.
January 13, 2008 at 10:33 am
OK, it’s ludicrous – but in a funny way. These made me laugh rather than cringe.
January 13, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Don’t you think that this would draw more attention to the tampon than hiding it? Just stick it up your sleeve when you go to the bathroom (don’t do this with short sleeves, you’re not Bowser from Sha Na Na with a pack of cigs rolled up in his t-shirt. Or stick it in your bra.
January 13, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I don’t know….these actually made me giggle! These would make great gag gifts!
September 23, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Emphasis on gag
January 13, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Hee hee hee!
January 13, 2008 at 1:49 pm
You have t to be kidding me! I can think of many better ways to use up little bits of yarn!
January 13, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Oh Lord! *hysterical laughing* I mean, I thought the crocheted va-jay-jays were bad, but this is right up there! Just stick ‘em in the zipper compartment and you won’t have to worry about it!
LOL – I’m thinking of an episode of The Young Ones where they have a party and one of the guys snoops in a female guest’s handbag in front of everyone. “OH LOOK! A PRESENT! It’s a telescope… with a mousie inside!” ROFL!
July 5, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Crocheted va-jay-jays?
January 13, 2008 at 4:49 pm
not needed for me anymore, but would disguise it like a flower or some other object in purse if i were to make one
January 13, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Oh. My. Goodness.
January 14, 2008 at 8:18 am
It makes my ovaries hurt looking at it and I don’t have a clue _why_.
Just be normal and put it in your purse or pocket. Why make such a “show it off” container for something , presumambly, you are trying to hide?
Use the yarn for something else, anything else…..
well, almost anything else.
January 14, 2008 at 11:44 am
I have made a pouch to hold feminine hygiene products once, could also double as a glasses case, and I’ll admit, but these are quite disturbing!
These patterns/items were for sale? Do you REALLY need a pattern for this? Can you imagine these for sale at a county fair or something? goodness!
January 14, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Some people just don’t know when to put down the hook and walk away from the yarn.
January 14, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Well, ladies (and I seriously hope you are mostly all ladies) you have given me the best chuckle of the day. This little ditty is just as interesting as a Willy Warmer and, if you don’t know what that is, well . . . I’m not going to explain it. There really isn’t a need to hide these anymore. Geez! my DH goes to the store to buy them for DD. What’s the big deal? Now if you think about a Willy Warmer and it’s function – that’s a necessity!
January 14, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Oh my, these are a hoot. I don’t need them anymore, thank goodness. But I got a good laugh.
I really do not see why so many others are so uptight. At least they look better than the white paper package and will keep them cleaner.
January 15, 2008 at 10:41 am
OMG! Makes me glad I had a hysterectomy!
January 15, 2008 at 11:07 am
I wish one of them had googly eyes. That would be hilarious.
January 16, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I LOVE them!! They made me laugh out loud! I only wish I still needed the products so I could always have something fun in my purse! The uterus is just too cute! I may have to make some for my younger friends and co-workers!
January 3, 2010 at 2:39 pm
I agree!! This is hilarious; I love it! I’m totally going to make some for my friends.
January 18, 2008 at 10:25 am
Author burns! :LOL:
January 19, 2008 at 7:15 pm
My husband said those make his ovaries hurt…and I am happy that I had a partial hysterectomy…at least now I won’t even be tempted to make something so….weird (at the very least).
January 21, 2008 at 12:32 pm
They look disturbingly like little alien creatures. Little alien creatures meant to disguise something for my most intimate areas…. like the makings of a freaky urban legend….
January 23, 2008 at 4:02 am
these would certainly draw attention to your inner purse, the horrible ness of your 5 year old child pulling a tampon out of your bag and shouting “whats this mummy” very loudly in the playground when you are collecting from school, would be magnified 100 fold! whats next? a nice little cosy for your moon cup when its not in use? lol
January 25, 2008 at 11:40 pm
This made me crack right up, But WTF is the yellow one supposed to be? A banana?????
January 26, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Well, I think the one on the right is the perfect accompaniment for this video. Did you notice the, umm, interesting implications of the way these two twits are, errrm, fondling that banana?
Disclaimer: I don’t buy their argument, and that video has been ripped to shreds by better educated, more intelligent people on YouTube and all over the blogosphere.
January 28, 2008 at 12:28 am
I laughed long and hard, but you know, I’ll be honest… I want to make one of these now. I am forever misplacing tampons in my purse where they get all covered in glittered eyeshadow and stuff. Not so much the ovaries though. I like the googly eyes idea!
January 29, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Scooped!
http://randomstupidstuff.com/blog/2007/11/07/knitted-tampon-holders/
January 31, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Wow!
February 4, 2008 at 1:43 am
Sad to say, I feel obsessed with this now. I SO want one of these! And I can’t crochet! Who will make one for me?
Don’t suggest I take up crocheting— I already have a time-consuming quilting habit (and incidentally I’m also profoundly lazy, heh).
February 10, 2008 at 10:25 am
Alright, i had to come out of the woodwork for this one as well. It took about 10 minutes to stop laughing hysterically to be able to type straight. I agree with the one that said this draws more attention to it. The uterus and ovaries one, uh, weird lol.
February 10, 2008 at 9:59 pm
I thought that was awesome!!!! I loved the Uterus one. I am tempted to make one for myself just for the weird factor. Tee hee.
February 13, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Holy Crap! I love these!!! They would work really well for gag gifts… oh! And I’d have to make sure to include a crocheted tampon too!! OMG!
February 16, 2008 at 3:54 pm
These are hilarious!
February 21, 2008 at 10:42 am
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!!! (tears rolling down my face!!!)
February 21, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Those would make great gag gifts! Haha.
March 3, 2008 at 2:53 am
Well the one with ovaries goes perfectly with this skirt: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=9073693
March 9, 2008 at 8:39 pm
I love those…if used tampons I would make them. You should see some of the penis shaped ones out there. I have designed a pad holder that has raised more than a few eyebrows.
Cora
March 11, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Lorraine,
As if this wasn’t wacky enough. How did you ever
find that skirt? Your post was the cherry on the
sundae! LOL.
March 14, 2008 at 5:12 pm
They’re both…really creepy…the uterus especially…*shudders*
March 15, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Someone finding a tampon in my stuff might be embarrassing or uncomfortable or whatever..but someone finding a tampon in one of these would be 100x more embarrassing!! XD
March 16, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I think these are awesome! Fun idea.
March 29, 2008 at 10:11 am
Those are just too funny , but I just for the life of me cannot get the image of a crocheted condom out of my head ..
hmm I think I have an idea for a new not to crochet gag gift lol
April 9, 2008 at 12:07 am
I’m sorry but I’m glad you mentioned what it was cause I would not have guessed it was to cover tampons… wow…. I once found the crocheted condom on ebay… they look VERY similar. Yikes. lol
June 11, 2008 at 7:21 pm
I get the whole ironic crochet thing. But I don’t think that shade of pink can ever be ironic.
June 26, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Oh my gosh
That’s hilarious!
July 20, 2008 at 6:06 am
I am new on here so I have to ask: is there a pattern for condom cozies? It could look vaguely like the uterus-tampon cozy.
July 22, 2008 at 10:03 pm
oh…my…god…
how on earth did this person think that this was a good idea?
August 6, 2008 at 1:13 am
I think it’s a great idea! I used to purchase tampax by the box, and got a free plastic purse container that would hold two.
These should be big enough for at least two!
August 6, 2008 at 11:03 am
One of the things that always annoyed me was when the tampon package got messed up from being in my purse. Also the digging around my purse for the tampon. I think in spite of the subject matter this is a very creative and good idea
August 6, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I love the uterus one I’m gonna make them! Has anyone seen the knitted uterus on knitty.com? A perfect accompaniment. Now to look for that hot pnk cotton…Hmmm
August 7, 2008 at 5:27 am
yes, I hadta look again – the yellow one IS s’posed to be a banana… how very very funny!
August 10, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Missmew, I suppose you wouldn’t be interested in my vibrator cover pattern then?
August 18, 2008 at 4:28 pm
OMG! Who thought of this in the first place? Who thinks “Hmm I’m bored, what can I crochet? Oh I know tampon covers!!” This ranks right up with the knitted valentines day thong I ran across in a knitting pattern calender a couple of years ago. Although – why does the phrase ‘Secret Santa’ spring to mind?
August 22, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Kinda reminds me of those weenie warmers.
September 25, 2008 at 4:00 am
I love the banana one! The uterus one is too literal, but the banana is inspired! You could do the same thing with… other things intended for that general area of your body.
XD I am totally gonna make one of these!
December 1, 2008 at 2:31 am
I think this is genius. I remember seeing these years ago and I think it’s a great idea for us silly, unconvential types!
January 21, 2009 at 12:12 am
Like someone said, they really are more for protecting the tampon from being damaged in one’s purse, not to take to the bathroom with you. I imagine you could take the tampon out of it’s well protected place when you go to the bathroom.
I think some people are really critical on this site.
I think it’s funny and really sweet that someone would go to the trouble to crochet it. Lighten up everyone.
January 30, 2009 at 5:22 pm
…..oh dear.
If I ever find one of these in one of my friends’ purses, I think we’re going to need to have one of those sit down talks. Like an intervention. That’s just wrong…
February 5, 2009 at 6:22 pm
This made me laugh. The uterus one is priceless, but what’s the other thing? A banana? Lol!
On another note, a friend once got a somewhat similar piece of swag (stuff we all get) at a convention. I have no idea what this had to do with the theme of the con, but it was called a (I kid you not) “Rag Tote”! A little plastic box that holds two tampons. She got two, and for some reason gave one to me. My girlfriends found it and taunted me mercilessly for weeks…
February 24, 2009 at 1:32 am
The uterus cozies for menstrual cups are much cuter and more anatomically correct. The banana one is funny, though.
March 6, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Not cute, really really not cute, but really, what is the possible situation where you could not take your purse with you and had to whip this puppy out? And what point being coy in a stall? Are you worried that someone who’d be titillated by ordinary female-type objects will be going through your purse and will NOT want to look at something as odd as this item? Or it there an advantage to showing it?
Ok, so it isn’t an in-the-purse problem. Consider the situation:
In a bar “Excuse me, will you hold my purse while I go to the restroom with my little (big lie and stealthy move to get the item)….
In a business meeting “lets all take a break — we know this location is a problem, so lets agree that we’ll all leave our wallets and purses here and just take what matters (stealthy move to get the item and a cute attempt to make it look like something normal)”
In a political meeting (while waving the item about) “hey girls — look at this! lets dodge these dullards and do the real business in the restroom” (hey, it beats the idea of ‘lets all break out into affinity groups’
March 10, 2009 at 5:19 pm
It’s neither wrong nor right, just silly.
April 2, 2009 at 12:29 pm
ROFL, ok i like the pink one rofl
April 11, 2009 at 11:32 am
I thought I’d laughed as loud and hard as I could when I saw the pictures…. Then I read the posts! What a great way to start my Saturday morning!
I am a nanny, working for a gynecologist…. I have GOT to make her some for her patients!!!!
July 19, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I read all the posts before I seen the pictures and laughed so hard I think my ovaries dropped. I LOVE THESE. Finally seen pictures can’t wait to dig out my yarn ( the brighter the colors the better.) So glad I found this pattern before Christmas.
August 5, 2009 at 1:14 pm
um NO!
August 27, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I’d rather just carry my tampon…right out in the open.
October 16, 2009 at 5:07 am
Well, they aren’t called ‘Discreet Tampon Cozies.’ Someone asked what the ‘yellow thing’ is. I’m embarrassed to admit that I see it very plainly . . . a peeled banana. There.
You are sooooo funny and this site is too much. I’ve been sitting here for hours going back through your postings. I cannot make myself go to bed.
October 22, 2009 at 7:14 pm
This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
November 7, 2009 at 2:29 pm
the perfect mix of hilarious and disturbing.
i love it.
December 9, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Ham was here.
December 20, 2009 at 12:11 am
*sigh*
Come on….. if you’re a female and you’re ashamed and don’t want people to know you use feminine hygiene products, you’ve got mental problems that you probably can’t be helped with.
You’re FEMALE. Everyone KNOWS you buy tampons and/or pads. No need to “hide” them.
December 30, 2009 at 7:29 pm
I no longer need these, but I think they’re “hysterical”.
Maybe one shaped like a penis. A person could really get creative with these and they are such a small project they would take no time. I don’t think I’d try to sell them at our Christmas Sale, but I would make one for a friend for laughs, and if I still used tampons I would be starting one for myself right now.
January 10, 2010 at 2:21 am
I seriously slapped myself just looking at this… WOW, I guess its true, people will make anything.
February 3, 2010 at 9:26 pm
AAWWWWWWW.
March 31, 2010 at 3:15 pm
You know what I LOVE THEM! They are FUN, that’s all, FUN.
They are things most females will use, do use, have used. It’s an annoying expense and anything to make it amusing is a good thing!
April 4, 2010 at 9:06 am
hahahaa!! i can just imagine some well meaning, clueless aunt knitting up a bunch to give to the girls in her life… hehehe
April 10, 2010 at 2:32 am
I laughed for a good twenty minutes, the comments on these pages are too funny love this blog found it by accident and man am i happy i did
May 26, 2010 at 7:10 pm
I laughed SO HARD at this! As a disguise, these don’t really work–a tampon still looks like a tampon–but I think I would get a perverse pleasure out of pulling one of these out of my purse. I would embroider a happy face on them, though.
June 5, 2010 at 11:41 am
I’m a tampon I only live a while,
but for that short time I’d like to live in style.
I don’t get cold so don’t be dozy
don’t be buying me no tacky tampon cozy!
banana_the_poet
September 9, 2010 at 6:48 pm
I just love how you block all the comments that disagree with you. Why am I surprised. What a sad person you are.
September 9, 2010 at 9:11 pm
No comments get blocked – unless they’re advertising drugs to enhance the size of penises.
Sometimes it takes me time to approve them because.. wow – I work for a living…
September 18, 2010 at 12:22 am
That is simply pathetic!!
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