Cronos…oh nos!!

The Lion Brand fashion show is guaranteed to be full of things not to knit and crochet.

This piece caught my eye.

Cronos

I find the torso area…hideous. Doesn’t it look like it’s on backwards?

Then the floofy skirt area…..it looks like coral reef. or something. i’m so stunned.

ugh!

This is a tunic.  Looks like someone got drunk/high and then decided to do something “constructive” with their gauge swatches.  this poor model looks like she got attacked.

28 comments

  1. Luci says:

    I count 4 audience members who are laughing or giggling. That should be a sign to lion brand that this idea really isn’t working.

  2. Genny :0) says:

    The top one looks like some sort of tumor methinks. eww and the bottom one, well, I am wondering if that was not the winner of the preschool division of the make your own useless apron competition? Yep, that’s what it is. Gotta be.

  3. Karen says:

    I absolutely love the expression on the face of the woman to the left of the model in the light cream colored top! The whole audience is laughing at just how beyond ridiculous this outfit is! Classic!

  4. Chessie says:

    I dunno, the first is hideous. But the tunic is rather funky in a deconstructed kind of way– I can see this being sold at high-end prices to the younger crowd.

  5. Annie says:

    The second one is just fug-awful. Fugful?

    The design of torso on the first is actually pretty innovative and chic and in line with some of the upcoming styles for fall, including the layers and color. It would probably be way more successful as a whole if it weren’t all yarn- i know you guys love your yarn, but the look would be way better with something more formal and drapey like silk.

    I think they were trying for the poofy “balloon skirt” thing that’s so popular now, but again, using yarn to do that is a big FAIL.

    Also, what kind of runway show has such absolutely crappy lighting? overhead fluorescent…. ugh.

  6. lydee says:

    AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am gouging my eyes out!

    What is THAT purple thing?
    Even the audience is laughing at that piece.
    Illegal drugs had to be involved with the creation of both pieces.

  7. lolarusa says:

    These are indeed gawdawful. The red and white thing reminds me of an old lawn chair we used to have, with half the threads missing on the seat. I believe in the end somebody sat on it and fell right through. Let us wish a similar indignity on the designers of these… clothes?

  8. timethief says:

    The Lion Brand designers must be drinking water from a questionable source or something. Not even the most beautiful and shapely models can make these crochet nightmares look like they ought to be displayed in public places. Both ‘garment’ (using the term loosely) IMHO are candidates for wool recycling projects.

  9. no one says:

    the top model looks like a plum… not to mention her nipples are showing. and how heavy must that dress be??? how can she pull off such a smile???? i don’t think she knows that the audience is laughing at her, not with her.
    the other person is grimacing like “what did I get myself into????? Is she wearing an apron???? i know that some of the fashions these days are a bit odd, but the bottom one is like (fill in the blank). poor model, she looks like a window with a bad paint job, or maybe an odd checkerboard. honestly, does anyone beside me feel that it would be less humiliation to walk around wearing diapers?

  10. Flora says:

    Are you sure these weren’t meant to be in the “joke/junk” division of the show? Some one must have been joking as they came up with this junk.

  11. absent debra says:

    THIS is exactly why we crocheters get no respect and are continuously disabused. Well…this and day-glo grannie-squares.
    Well someone paleeezzeeeee design something gorgeous in crochet?
    Enough with the stuff animals, TP covers and doll dresses.
    And stop publishing patterns for ponchos…they’re just, just….so wrong.

  12. Teresa says:

    There are no words in the English language to describe the project in the top photo (excuse me while I fight the sudden bout of nausea) , but I fear that Chessie may just be right about the second project. I can honestly see young people flocking to a high end store to purchase the “tunic”. These projects are truly fug-tastic! Yikes.

  13. Robin says:

    even Vanna is laughing and she works with Lion Brand…..
    of course, it is probably better than anything the company I work for would do – imagine a pile of out of date tablets and capsules….wait, maybe that’s where the idea for these “fashions” came from;)

  14. Shannon says:

    You know the sad feeling you get when someone you know has a life-threatening disease? And you try to smile at them and reassure them, but you break down crying, and the dying friend is the one who smiles to reassure?

    That’s how the girl in the second picture is smiling.

  15. Sherry says:

    What the first (ahem) dress lacks in the ‘lift’ department, it more than makes up for in separation though I’ve always thought of cleavage as more of a crack than a gap. The real question begging to be asked here is “Does this dress make my butt look big?”. As for the second monstrosity… I swear I saw that same outfit on someone at the pig auction but I could be wrong.

  16. unreliable narrator says:

    Actually, the first photo doesn’t look as though the model’s dress [?] is on backwards–it looks as if her *head* is on backwards. I trust the readers of this blog, of all people, will appreciate the distinction.

    Is she laughing, or shrieking in anguish?

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