Pointy Boob Bathing Suits

Do you remember those pointed bras from Madonna? Well, this designer has certainly been successful in achieving that look with crocheting. I feel a bit bad for this model…I’m mean it’s obvious she’s an amateur and probably getting paid next to nothing to model this for the designer but oh dear, oh my, how embarassing to pose in a bathing suit that makes your chest look pointed. Too funny!! Oh, the pattern only costs $2…wonder why? The finished product is usually a good indication how well the pattern was written and obviously, this is one bad pattern! And to make your model look 20 pounds heavier isn’t a good sign either.

Link to this site provided by Naida…thanks!


  1. Leisel says:

    I think this is an attempt at hypnotism… reminds me a lot of the snake’s eyes from Disney’s The Jungle Book.

    Honestly, though… it would be a bad crochet even without the pointy boobs and the weird colors. Knit and crocheted swimwear is really never a good idea. And this type of suit… with the top attached to the bottom, is just the most unflattering design.

  2. Kat-Z says:

    The pointy boobs might be the best part. My thought..make ‘ em pointy and BIG.

    For those of us without perfect bodies, they might help to detract from some vital areas.

    They’ve let modesty prevail and decided against a high cut leg in favor of the low rider.
    I just keep wanted to reach in, and pull that fabric upward on the sides,
    where I KNOW my hips would be taking advantage of the large fat escape holes.

  3. severina says:

    Yes, it does look like plastic canvas! Vile!!!
    I just feel sorry for the model–she probably looks great in a non-crocheted bathing suit. She should go shoot whoever talked her into this fat-enhancing gear.

  4. Miz spike says:

    I love it! Give me pointy boobs, please!

    Seriously, has anyone everhefted a large piece of wet crochet? This thing, and all knitted or crocheted swimsuits, will be so heavy that the first time the bathing beauty is splatted down by a wave, she will never get up again.

  5. HydraFemme says:

    I have just one word of advice before contemplating this sort of project: STROBING!

    If, after just one short glance, you close your eyes and still see that pattern (only with the colours reversed), then consider your retinas duly fried.

    ‘Nuff said.

  6. awna says:

    In the early 80s I had a blue and white bathing suit just like this but it was not crocheted, it was made out of spandex. I am frightened that someone tried to duplicate it in crochet form as it was bad enough the first time around in the original spandex form.

  7. Janelle says:

    You all should post warnings – just happened across your site…. between the blurry eyes from looking at the swimsuit and the side splitting from laughing at all those comments…and falling out of my chair from laughing so hard… a person can get hurt — oh well, I still think you need to post warnings…. LOL

  8. Tammy says:

    You know, I am sure I have seen this pattern (different colors, still f-ugly) in one of my old crochet patterns mags, a ’70s (maybe late 60’s) McCall’s N&C or some such…..so, not even ORIGINALLY icky.

  9. susie says:

    i want to know where they get the people to model this stuff at maybe the bathing beauties and the giant bummy with the tail on his face could get together for a photo shoot

  10. Claire says:

    My grandmother crocheted a blue and white bikini for me out of some synthetic material when I was nary seven or eight. I remember wearing it ONCE while playing in the sprinkler with my siblings. ONCE was it, due to the terrible chafing to the girly bits and the horrified look on my mother’s face when I had to draw her attention to this painful Bikini Rub.

  11. Minky says:

    Must come with a warning – DO NOT GET IT WET, but I maybe make it in black and white when I’ve gained another 30lbs! and use it to hypnotise the hubby to think otherwise….

  12. Jessica says:

    Egad, mate…where do they find the models for these things? To be honest, they kind of look like hookers.

  13. cmariedoingme says:

    Can anybody tell me the name of this website, I know this is old but this is my last shot at finding a pattern like this!

  14. YLO says:

    Hahah I had a bathing suit in this shape. Way back in the 80’s. And it sure as heII wasn’t crocheted.
    It surely needs to be worked up in Hunters Orange and lime green. Or Neon red and green, for the holidays!

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