Couch Dresses

Seriously, what the h*ll? I’ve had a few people email this one to WNTC…is this for real? Can’t be!! If it is, well, it belongs in the WTF file…and believe me, anything that belongs in the WTF file is seriously bad…beyond hideous…in fact, just downright NOT RIGHT. It can be customized to fit you and any couch or loveseat! Seriously! You don’t believe me do you? You even get two flower broaches which will be such a wonderful accessory to this monstrosity that they will definitely distract from the fact that you’re in a freakin’ COUCH DRESS!! I don’t know what else to say…I’m at a loss for words on this one…so I’ll just end it with WTF??!!!

This brain aneurism submitted to WNTC by: Karen, Donna, Peach & Ronnie…thanks!

59 comments

  1. empress baggie says:

    I’ve been looking for a minivan dress pattern, but I guess this is as close as I will get. Perhaps I can improvise the pattern. $349 is a bit steep. If the price drops below $300 I’m on it, Baby.

  2. PurpleGirl says:

    You can’t even say that it would keep you warm on a very cold night while reading or watching TV because you’d have to wrap it weirdly around you so your arms don’t freeze… Not even changing the color schemes would help. How heavy is it, when you have to get up and walk around the house?

    And they make other “togetherness” clothing items. They have a store, they’ve been in business for something like 20 years or more (they say).

  3. dus7 says:

    Is the, er, green and yellow really attached to the red and brown? This hurts my eyes and stomach.

    Would one place the thing on the couch, and then wiggle into it? You’re just not going to drag it through the house, at all. (I would drag it out the backdoor, immediately, and then kill it outside. It’s too ugly to take apart and save the yarn. Really.)

    “All handmade” is an insult to craftspersons everywhere.

    That is an incredible piece, unbelievable.

  4. cathy says:

    Sadly (or maybe fortunately), after looking at their website, I think it’s a hoax, or at best performance art. Pantalaine sells “plural clothing” like coats built for three and “handholding mittens”… (actually maybe the handholding mittens aren’t that absurd…)

  5. Kat-Z says:

    What a concept!

    Looking at the rest of their site, they have shirts that two lovers perfectly in sync, and
    caring not what others will think, could wear. They merge into one..oh so symbolically
    and in reality. Making some of us vomit, others sign at the blush of young love and all of its’ attendant idiocy.

    BUT…..

    WHO wants to merge with their SOFA?

    Is this for that gal who AIN’T on the go?

  6. Beatriz from Brazil says:

    Do you really think these things are serious?

    I’m here laughing out loud – because of the wit and ingenuity of the pantalaine site and because no one here seems to understand their sense of humour.

  7. Star says:

    Ok so I posted some of the clothes from this site along with my (I think) funny comments and I COMPLETELY got bitched at by one girl.

    “I wrote to the manager of the store — he’s an artist and writes for Cabinet Magazine. But he says they are actually going to make some of these pieces and sell them.”

    WAY TO RUIN MY FUN!!!!!

  8. Granny Janny says:

    Makes Scarlett’s drapery dress look like a passable fashion statement. Good thing it is just a joke. Can you imagine the challenge if one were to actually were it and had to go to the bathroom! Have fun ladies!

  9. Pirk says:

    I love this! Wow. Can you imagine all the work that went into this piece of ART!!!

    Not all art is appreciated and liked. Let’s see some of the works in the art gallery, and then look at this one. What an imagination. At least this one gives you feelings of some sort.

    Oh, and I didn’t make this, but I sure can appreciate the humor behind it.

  10. minijaxter says:

    *twitch*

    you know if the colors werent so bad = it would be a cool showpiece – im all for art for the sake of art
    but at least do it tastefully.
    i thought we got out of the 60′s?

  11. Katie says:

    UGH! I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

    And I thought I liked ugly stuff – but even this is a step too far for me. Still, I bet it’s warm on cold winter evenings…

  12. Maryann says:

    Everybody’s saying the website is a hoax. I say probably.

    But the fact remains that no one is this good at photo manipulation.

    The couch dress and everything else may have been created to make people go… WHAT? But created they were, none the less.

    Somebody actually sat and crochet’d that monstrosity. I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time, effort, and yarn, when it could have gone to crocheting something useful.

    Like clothing for the homeless, for instance. Or disadvantaged children. Or premature babies. Just to name a few.

    Some… people… need… LIVES.

  13. Smogzilla says:

    I think they stole those afghans from my Auntie’s house. I swear! Oh whew, they left the one I have here. Try orange and green with fringe. What an heirloom!

  14. Mindy Wilson says:

    I know you have a ton of comments on this, but it is a hoot! I should have read them before responding for myself. But, why after going thru all the touble of making this so elaborate (ick)…make it sleeveless? Funny!!

    Mindy Wilson

  15. Anonymous says:

    this is from issue 17 of weird literary quarterly mcsweeneys. the website is a duplication of the advertisement from the issue. (the issue itself is designed to look like a pile of mail.)

    so yeah, it’s fake. and funny.

  16. Vicki says:

    Holy crap. Where can I get a copy of this? It’s just so wrong and funny, that it should have the warning, “This will happen, if you’d actually use all your yarn you buy, present and future. Though for some of you it’s present. And, YES, I’m talking to you”,underneathe. It’s so really bad 70′s flashback.

    (Oh, it’s from McSweeney’s.)

  17. susan says:

    Checked out the website…I’m pleased to know it’s performance art…I was getting seriously worried that it was a bad acid flash-back to the 70s [and I didn't do acid in the 70s]
    I wonder if anyone has ever actually tried to order anything from the website?????

  18. Kookie says:

    ARE YOU SERIOUS? EVEN A WOMEN WHO WEIGHS 500 LBS. WOULDN’T BE CAUGHT DEAD LAYING IN A THING LIKE THAT! NOT JUST 70′S BUT HIDEOUS 70′S!!!

  19. trish says:

    I own a few Pantalaine items. I bought them from my friend Brian, who runs the company. They truly exist. There was a fashion show in LA a couple months ago.

  20. happyhooker says:

    This is what happens when you can’t remember how many stitches you started with and the piece grows compulsively from a scarf to afghan to tent and you’ve reached the point of no return. Talk about a clogged washing machine. My dog would fall in love and so would his fleas!

  21. susie says:

    i saw the website and i like the one dress that ties your children up imagine what would happen if you put your little girls in this and went to an amusement park. ROFL

  22. kataloca says:

    I wonder if they make these for two or three people to wear at the same time….It would be inconvenient if the others would have to sit some place else.

  23. Daniele says:

    Are you planning a party? But, wait! Oh no… you’re furniture is atrocious! Never fear! We have… the couch dress!! You just host away from the comfort of your couch, and your dress covers your ugly furniture! You’ll never have to worry about ugly furniture again with the couch dress!

    Ha ha ha!!

  24. Lenny says:

    what happens if someone sits down on the couch? she’d be trapped… serves her right. I’m still snickering to myself over this one! I’m off to check out annies attic – I need a good chuckle!

  25. Linda says:

    Is that actually a dress she is wearing, with the couch hidden under her dress, or is it a huge afghan covering it and she is partially wrapped in the afghan? Whichever, all I have to say is, “Stooopid, stooopid, stooopid!”

  26. Teresa says:

    wow. This is pathetically …..sad…horrid…

    Who in their right mind would have thought, “Oh, let’s make a throw for the couch..oh better yet let’s sew them together to make one great big eye sore….and then make people wear it!”

  27. Mimi says:

    So…when that special someone rings the doorbell, I assume that you AND the entire couch cover are standing
    there amidst yards of fug ugly yarn with a martini in hand? I submit you’d need to chlorform him before he could turn and run! Who would even THINK of this?

  28. Michelle B says:

    On 2nd thought….wouldn’t it be a riot to invite people over and then get into one of these things…just to see the looks on their faces…LOL!!

  29. Aykayem says:

    I have been poking around in this website a few times over the last few days … and I have been getting lost in here again for the last hour or 3 … I kind of keep deciding to look at “one more page” … but after finding this picture – I think I must be hallucinating from lack of sleep or something – so I think I had better stop looking for now, and go get some sleep!

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