Sweatshirt Collars & Trims

And the point of all these would be? LOL! I especially like the one that looks like moss on someone's shoulders. Do we really need trims and collars on sweatshirts?  Not sure it's a fashion accessory many would be begging for…however, if you have some spare yarn in your stash begging to be crocheted, here you go!

Thanks to Jenny for submitting today's fug.


  1. severina says:

    These are either patterns for big-ass pot holders or itty-bitty ponchos.

    Why do people insist on trying to “dress up” sweatshirts??? They’re meant to be sweated in, that’s why they’re called fucking SWEAT shirts. Grrrrr!

    Severina needs a beer.

  2. CombatGal says:

    Moss, or radioactive green slime depending on your monitor. I like the trellis and dead leaves look myself. (Not!)

  3. HydraFemme says:

    What brand of beer do you go for, Sev? I like Michelob, myself. And after seeing that mossy number, I imagine a case is DEFINITELY called for. . .

  4. Debra says:

    My MIL made me one of those way back in the ’80s. I don’t recall if it was an ’80s thing.. or a midwest-farmer thing. But I bet if you put this pattern book (or a copy of it) in the senior center of her hometown, every female over the age of 12 would be given one by xmas.

  5. Pat says:

    I was looking at the shaggy green colar and had a thought… This could be an excellent halloween costume, in the right colors, you could have a great lion mane! mmmmm there are 7 months to halloween, plenty of time

  6. tonya says:

    Once seeing the green thing all I could think is sea weed (starting to feel sympathetic for the sea life). Please, I am begging, don’t send any pattern of the sort to the midwest, not all of us like stuff like this.

  7. severina says:

    Cracking open some brews for you guys!

    These patterns have been horribly horribly popular in the South since the 1980s. I’ve seen way too damn many of them and mostly on family members who think my purple hair is offensive.

    Besides the crocheted & knitted versions there’s also a snappy little number with a yoke made of quilt blocks.

    I can hear everyone screaming all the way up here.

  8. Maryann says:

    Stuff like this makes me wonder how this stuff ends up published.

    First, why would anyone design something so stupid?

    But what I *really* fail to understand is the publisher. Surely printing something like this is a money hole. They can’t have sold more than a few dozen of these – all to little old ladies with too much time and not enough taste.

    How could the publisher think this was a good idea?

  9. severina says:

    Oh, the publishers sell the hell out of these horrible things. They’re probably priced at a couple bucks apiece and since they haven’t made any new ones since like 1985 it’s all profit.

    Where I come from I could probably point out several dozen of these things on real, live people, any day of the week. There would also be other denizens of questionable taste admiring them & asking if she could make them one.

    Don’t even get me started on the dressier doily ones for church.

  10. HydraFemme says:

    Simple, Maryann—too much bad, warm beer, too little taste.

    Plus WAAAAYYYY too much time on their hands and a sale at the Yarn Barn.

  11. Kat-Z says:

    Sevarina, I could have lived without knowing these actually
    were produced in the south. (but I thank you..knowledge IS

    Pair one of those suckers, maybe the half a hula skirt with
    the ever popular beer can hat from this part of the country
    and you don’t even NEED two signatures to get a nice little
    rest at a “spa” where coloring, meds, and ACK! yarn work
    are a large part of your day!

  12. auntchrissy says:

    Oh, I HATE those collars! I keep seeing them in knitting as well as crocheting magazines, and all I can say is WHY?? WHY?? WHY?? They’re just so UGLY!! But then again, they give me something to focus my rage on besides gas prices, so perhaps that’s WHY!!

  13. severina says:

    I had hoped those things had all gone to the nearest landfil after everyone got tired of that fake Victorian look a few years back. Nooooo, they got to keep making them!

    I see they moderned these up a bit by using fun fur. Niiiiice.

  14. Jeanene says:

    And I thought it was bad a few years ago when all the rage at the craft shows was sweatshirts covered with glued on sequins and other items to “glamorize” them.

    Want to look dressy in the evening? Then don’t wear a sweat shirt!!!

  15. mita says:

    Collars!!! on lesuire wear…. WHY??? it drives me nuts!! it not like you gonna wear a tie to play RUGBY o POLO or WHATEVER! it just a waste o material and in these eco aware times I think it a sin!Whats wrong with a clean unfussy neckline? I HATE FLAPPY YUKKIE COLLARS!!!

  16. Viki says:

    Wow – you guys need more to do. My Grandmother loves crocheting and with her arthritis a lot of these patterns are PERFECT for her. So what they’re ridiculous? For the rest of my life, I’ll have all of these precious things my Grandmother worked on in her last years to look at.

    Get a life, guys – find something REAL to be mad about. Like our Americans dying in Iraq, like the crime rate in the US. The drug problem.

  17. whatnottocrochet says:

    LOL @ Viki…mad? That’s what you get is mad from these comments? All in fun! And life should be fun sometimes not so serious like Americans dying in Iraq, crime in US or drug problems – talk about downers – crochet is nothing nowhere near like those topics and neither is the endless silly patterns out there. If you want to enjoy them, that’s your perogative just like making fun of them is anyone else’s perogative.

  18. happyhooker says:

    I hear macrame is coming back…..think of the application for collars instead of plant holders, room dividers, fringed purses. What an inspiration!

  19. crazycatlady says:

    I can see them being done by old ladies who also wear them with their ‘fancy’ sweatshirts to make the rounds of the weekend garage sales, and of course they’ll make dozens to sell at the church’s Christmas bazaar. I’ve done beaded collars and mantles, but they’re for gowns, etc.

  20. Linda says:

    These are very handy if you are planning to go for lunch immediately after going to the dentist for fillings. They catch all of the slop that would otherwise trickle down your chin and onto your shirt. You then simply remove the collar and stuff it in your bag. So make sure to use machine washable yarn in case of future dental work.

  21. Binka says:

    Ever notice that they are always made of the gaudiest colors invented? No subtle blends or anything that is remotely in good taste. No, it must be garish & eye searing blindingly colorful.

  22. Jewel says:

    I was just about to make one of these collars and you know you are so right, Severina.
    U-G-L-Y. I mean ever letter capitalized. I must have just about lost my mind! Well…I have been sick recently.

  23. EDITH says:

    LOVE reading all these negative comments because I have been wanting to make one of the “swamp” collars for several years, The instructions in the booklet leave something to be desired however: incomplete; no back view, etc.
    I can see wearing it over a long plain evening gown.
    If someone could post a link for a knitted version, would so appreciate.

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